Here's what you need to know about my respected boss transferring to the Frozen North: 1) What I said at the going away soiree is true, but pinched for the sake of the gag, which is 2)My boss hates NE Patriots head coach Bill Belechik.

Dear Sir,

The time has come to recount all the things you’ve meant to this organization and this team.

You have been a firm leader, but approachable, willing to listen to concerns professional or personal. You've provided a stable and solid environment even as we’ve each had to deal with greater instability elsewhere than at any other time in our lives.

Your commitment to teaching and training, to the value of incremental improvement, is manifest in all operations. You have excelled as a communicator and as a teacher. Down to the last week you continue to work with your assistants and proteges, delving into reports and what they mean. Rookies to the team learn how it’s done here; experienced additions are positively challenged to adjust and learn new ways to be successful. You welcome neophytes and veterans who are willing to learn and strive toward excellence. Both rookies and veterans have benefited from your disciplined but reasonable approach. You reward all who grasp the scheme.

You’ve never failed to set the example with attention to detail. You’ve made believers of us, late converts that a number of little things, done well, with integrity, give us a better likelihood of success than a slapdash approach ever would.

Don’t let the haters get you down when they bring up spygate or inflategate . . .

Wait . . .

[rustle with paper, mutter to myself]

Carlos--I am so sorry! This is my fan letter to Bill Belichik. With everything going on lately it must just have . . .

[allow for uproarious laughter 🙄]

Ok. But seriously, all of the foregoing is true of you: your steady leadership, your commitment to training and learning, your willingness to help people with their first jobs and those of us on our last legs, that retail is detail—and it was only adapted to a football coach who you will hate only until such time as he signs with the Dallas Cowboys.

But that’s immaterial. We hope you’ve enjoyed your time with us. We hope you’ve learned something here. For our part, we surely have.

[applause maybe]

There’s just one other thing . . .